Hi there,
I hope this week has treated you well!
In the words of Billy Ocean, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going".
Soon I’m delivering a session about how important resilience is as a leader. And, it really got me thinking about how I have worked with resilience in my life.
The Six Domains of Resilience are awesome for depicting the different components that support resilience - such as connection, tenacity, EQ and good health.
However, when I think about the times when I’ve been most resilient, I think I can break down my solutions to being driven by one of two things:
Mind management and, when that fails, the right action or the right behaviours.
Managing your mind through the wild emotional terrains of uncertainty is nothing short of terrifying and, quite frankly, completely bl**dy difficult. You see, I do wonder if there is some kind of global assumption that, if we are more resilient, then it means that life somehow becomes pain free by proxy. And, let’s be clear, that absolutely ain't true.
Not only that, can I also just say that I do absolutely agree with the old adage, ‘it isn’t what happens, it’s how you react to it’. But, and it’s a massive but, that doesn’t mean that it makes the whole process become pain or fear free.
To put this into context, when I was writing the resilience training workshop, I cast my mind back to leading my team through the pandemic. Now, to an observer, one could argue that I was highly resilient and led the team well - indeed to great growth. However, I can also happily add that I was nothing short of terrified the entire time!
With the benefit of hindsight, and arguably a lot more knowledge and self-development, I would probably now have more tools and skills to manage my mind through such a situation. But the initial pain and fear would absolutely still be there. Nothing can quite get rid of that real, primal pain that stretches into your chest cavity and up your neck with a vice-like grip.
But what you can manage is how much you get caught up in it, how long and you spend with it and, ultimately, how much you can separate from it.
So, if you are going through your own maelstrom of challenge, know that the goal is not to feel nothing. It is to move through it quickly and, when the emotional drain feels too enveloping, then to just bl**dy fake it and keep putting one foot in front of the other - doing the right actions if the right thinking fails you.
Here are my five fail-safe hacks for managing your mind to give your brain the space to be a bit more resilient when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan:
1. Acceptance - someone said to me the other day that they didn’t understand the concept of acceptance. So, try this thinking if you’re struggling to accept a situation:
Acceptance isn’t ‘Why is this happening to me? Whatever will I do?’
Acceptance is: ‘This is happening. So, what do I do next?’
2. Right-size it - if you’re anything like me, you can catastrophise anything. As my friend so beautifully puts it ‘sometimes, I get an email from the homeless. i.e. I’ll get one random slightly bad-news email and I’ll automatically think I’m going to be homeless'. So, do yourself a favour and keep your problems in context - what has actually happened? Not what your brain might be telling you is happening.
3. Be curious - when sh*t’s going down, turn your brain to questioning. It’s a known fact that you can’t feel curiosity and anxiety at the same time. So, ask yourself the question ‘What do I learn here? Or ‘What do I gain?’
4. Next right thing - when your brain is out of control and you literally cannot see the wood for the trees, keep things simple and focus on just the next right thing to do. That might be to get home, shut your computer, send one email, take a walk, etc. We might have no idea of the overall path ahead but we can always think of the next right thing to do.
5. Know that this too shall pass - I know, not the grandest action in the world. However, I do know that sometimes, having this in the back of my mind can offer solace when the fear feels completely overwhelming. Time cures everything and sometimes, things have a beautiful way of working themselves out. So, my question to you, is what would happen if you did nothing?
I strongly believe that one of the greatest gifts we have when it comes to being resilient is our good health. So, make sure that you’re facing life with as much energy and emotional, mental and physical capacity as you can create.
And, if resilience training sounds like it might be for you, check out our programmes and get in touch!
Have a wonderful week, friends.
Cate x
Hi there,
I hope this week has treated you well!
In the words of Billy Ocean, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going".
Soon I’m delivering a session about how important resilience is as a leader. And, it really got me thinking about how I have worked with resilience in my life.
The Six Domains of Resilience are awesome for depicting the different components that support resilience - such as connection, tenacity, EQ and good health.
However, when I think about the times when I’ve been most resilient, I think I can break down my solutions to being driven by one of two things:
Mind management and, when that fails, the right action or the right behaviours.
Managing your mind through the wild emotional terrains of uncertainty is nothing short of terrifying and, quite frankly, completely bl**dy difficult. You see, I do wonder if there is some kind of global assumption that, if we are more resilient, then it means that life somehow becomes pain free by proxy. And, let’s be clear, that absolutely ain't true.
Not only that, can I also just say that I do absolutely agree with the old adage, ‘it isn’t what happens, it’s how you react to it’. But, and it’s a massive but, that doesn’t mean that it makes the whole process become pain or fear free.
To put this into context, when I was writing the resilience training workshop, I cast my mind back to leading my team through the pandemic. Now, to an observer, one could argue that I was highly resilient and led the team well - indeed to great growth. However, I can also happily add that I was nothing short of terrified the entire time!
With the benefit of hindsight, and arguably a lot more knowledge and self-development, I would probably now have more tools and skills to manage my mind through such a situation. But the initial pain and fear would absolutely still be there. Nothing can quite get rid of that real, primal pain that stretches into your chest cavity and up your neck with a vice-like grip.
But what you can manage is how much you get caught up in it, how long and you spend with it and, ultimately, how much you can separate from it.
So, if you are going through your own maelstrom of challenge, know that the goal is not to feel nothing. It is to move through it quickly and, when the emotional drain feels too enveloping, then to just bl**dy fake it and keep putting one foot in front of the other - doing the right actions if the right thinking fails you.
Here are my five fail-safe hacks for managing your mind to give your brain the space to be a bit more resilient when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan:
1. Acceptance - someone said to me the other day that they didn’t understand the concept of acceptance. So, try this thinking if you’re struggling to accept a situation:
Acceptance isn’t ‘Why is this happening to me? Whatever will I do?’
Acceptance is: ‘This is happening. So, what do I do next?’
2. Right-size it - if you’re anything like me, you can catastrophise anything. As my friend so beautifully puts it ‘sometimes, I get an email from the homeless. i.e. I’ll get one random slightly bad-news email and I’ll automatically think I’m going to be homeless'. So, do yourself a favour and keep your problems in context - what has actually happened? Not what your brain might be telling you is happening.
3. Be curious - when sh*t’s going down, turn your brain to questioning. It’s a known fact that you can’t feel curiosity and anxiety at the same time. So, ask yourself the question ‘What do I learn here? Or ‘What do I gain?’
4. Next right thing - when your brain is out of control and you literally cannot see the wood for the trees, keep things simple and focus on just the next right thing to do. That might be to get home, shut your computer, send one email, take a walk, etc. We might have no idea of the overall path ahead but we can always think of the next right thing to do.
5. Know that this too shall pass - I know, not the grandest action in the world. However, I do know that sometimes, having this in the back of my mind can offer solace when the fear feels completely overwhelming. Time cures everything and sometimes, things have a beautiful way of working themselves out. So, my question to you, is what would happen if you did nothing?
I strongly believe that one of the greatest gifts we have when it comes to being resilient is our good health. So, make sure that you’re facing life with as much energy and emotional, mental and physical capacity as you can create.
And, if resilience training sounds like it might be for you, check out our programmes and get in touch!
Have a wonderful week, friends.
Cate x
