Oh hey there,
I hope you've had a lovely week! I've been delivering workshops all week around the country, which has been super fun, but gosh, it's good to be home now!
After my newsletter last week about my move to Bournemouth, I was shocked to receive quite a few messages from people saying how much they enjoyed what I had shared, about the move out of the city and how they had often thought about doing similar.
So, I thought it might be valuable to share a little more context to the story of how I had made the move and why - to see if any of it resonated with you guys.
I guess, if the truth be told, the story starts more than 2 years ago, on June 13th 2022. I woke up in the morning after a few too many glasses of wine the night before and an all-too-familiar feeling of dread and anxiety.
‘Oh for God’s sake, not again’.
I truly was so bored of hangovers and the absolutely terrible way that they made me feel. Yes, they completely made me feel like cr*p physically, but over the last few years, the impact on me mentally was huge. I would struggle through the day, riddled with worries, with the world feeling about 10 times worse than it would normally and yet… come the next Friday evening, my painful memories seemed to evaporate like condensation on a glass of Sancerre on a hot day and all would be forgiven when the wine list came out.
Anyway, I’m not sure what it was about that day, but something changed. There had been so many times before when I was ‘absolutely sure’ that I would stop drinking but for some reason, on this day the certainty seemed more palpable, the consequence so much greater than the distraction… and, because of this, I took the first step on a very long journey of sobriety.
And, journey is exactly what it has been. There have been so many twists and turns, good days and bad days and a thousand times when I wanted to crumble and pour myself a stiff Marg.
However, let’s keep to the headlines: I think I can honestly say that I had no idea on that woeful day, as I held my sorry, hungover head in my hands, what monumental life changes sobriety would bring:
- My personality has changed: I’m calmer, more peaceful, more consistent, less reactive, wiser and altogether nicer, actually.
- My relationships are better: I enjoy quiet nights in, 1-2-1 conversations, being in nature and walking, so much more than bars, group gatherings or parties.
- I am so much more bothered by joy and peace than money or consumerism: I want to do a job that I love - working directly with people and sharing everything that has genuinely changed and impacted my life - rather than being focused on growing and scaling a business.
- And finally, I want to be close to nature rather than being in the city: which previously had been my lifeblood.
I can’t really explain the difference. Maybe there’s an element of getting older in there too but I call it the ‘Call of Self’.
A feeling that maybe the old you and your old way of doing things doesn’t quite fit anymore. Like putting on an old pair of trousers that you can’t quite believe you used to get your waist into! It starts as a whisper that maybe you ignore at first but it grows in volume and frequency until you can’t ignore it any longer.
For me, stopping drinking was about getting to the real me. The me that had always been there and quietly trying to grow up through the cracks that I kept papering over with nights out or new ideas. And, I might not always get it right (far from it). But, learning and growing whilst keeping promises to myself feels very different to beating myself up (constantly).
It’s a lovely feeling when you feel like you’re where you’re meant to be, in the shoes you’re meant to be in (Nike Dunks by the way - no longer Louboutins), rather than living a life that you just think you’re supposed to be in. Even if your journey is far from predictable.
So what about you, have you ever had that ‘call’? Believe me, you can only ignore it for so long before life gets really uncomfortable.
Here are some ideas of what to do if you do:
- Just sit with it: you don’t have to act immediately. Let it percolate and grow. Consider your options - there is always likely to be more than one route.
- Consider sharing how you’re feeling: and if you do, make sure it’s with people whose opinions you really trust and respect. Don’t be put off by someone who would never do what you do before you’ve even started.
- And finally, don’t think about the end result - just take that first tiny step: try it out and see how it feels. Trust that the rest of the journey will always unfold - you really do not need to know the ending before you start.
I would love to hear from you if any of the above resonates and, as ever, have a wonderful week, friends.
With much love,
Cate x
Oh hey there,
I hope you've had a lovely week! I've been delivering workshops all week around the country, which has been super fun, but gosh, it's good to be home now!
After my newsletter last week about my move to Bournemouth, I was shocked to receive quite a few messages from people saying how much they enjoyed what I had shared, about the move out of the city and how they had often thought about doing similar.
So, I thought it might be valuable to share a little more context to the story of how I had made the move and why - to see if any of it resonated with you guys.
I guess, if the truth be told, the story starts more than 2 years ago, on June 13th 2022. I woke up in the morning after a few too many glasses of wine the night before and an all-too-familiar feeling of dread and anxiety.
‘Oh for God’s sake, not again’.
I truly was so bored of hangovers and the absolutely terrible way that they made me feel. Yes, they completely made me feel like cr*p physically, but over the last few years, the impact on me mentally was huge. I would struggle through the day, riddled with worries, with the world feeling about 10 times worse than it would normally and yet… come the next Friday evening, my painful memories seemed to evaporate like condensation on a glass of Sancerre on a hot day and all would be forgiven when the wine list came out.
Anyway, I’m not sure what it was about that day, but something changed. There had been so many times before when I was ‘absolutely sure’ that I would stop drinking but for some reason, on this day the certainty seemed more palpable, the consequence so much greater than the distraction… and, because of this, I took the first step on a very long journey of sobriety.
And, journey is exactly what it has been. There have been so many twists and turns, good days and bad days and a thousand times when I wanted to crumble and pour myself a stiff Marg.
However, let’s keep to the headlines: I think I can honestly say that I had no idea on that woeful day, as I held my sorry, hungover head in my hands, what monumental life changes sobriety would bring:
- My personality has changed: I’m calmer, more peaceful, more consistent, less reactive, wiser and altogether nicer, actually.
- My relationships are better: I enjoy quiet nights in, 1-2-1 conversations, being in nature and walking, so much more than bars, group gatherings or parties.
- I am so much more bothered by joy and peace than money or consumerism: I want to do a job that I love - working directly with people and sharing everything that has genuinely changed and impacted my life - rather than being focused on growing and scaling a business.
- And finally, I want to be close to nature rather than being in the city: which previously had been my lifeblood.
I can’t really explain the difference. Maybe there’s an element of getting older in there too but I call it the ‘Call of Self’.
A feeling that maybe the old you and your old way of doing things doesn’t quite fit anymore. Like putting on an old pair of trousers that you can’t quite believe you used to get your waist into! It starts as a whisper that maybe you ignore at first but it grows in volume and frequency until you can’t ignore it any longer.
For me, stopping drinking was about getting to the real me. The me that had always been there and quietly trying to grow up through the cracks that I kept papering over with nights out or new ideas. And, I might not always get it right (far from it). But, learning and growing whilst keeping promises to myself feels very different to beating myself up (constantly).
It’s a lovely feeling when you feel like you’re where you’re meant to be, in the shoes you’re meant to be in (Nike Dunks by the way - no longer Louboutins), rather than living a life that you just think you’re supposed to be in. Even if your journey is far from predictable.
So what about you, have you ever had that ‘call’? Believe me, you can only ignore it for so long before life gets really uncomfortable.
Here are some ideas of what to do if you do:
- Just sit with it: you don’t have to act immediately. Let it percolate and grow. Consider your options - there is always likely to be more than one route.
- Consider sharing how you’re feeling: and if you do, make sure it’s with people whose opinions you really trust and respect. Don’t be put off by someone who would never do what you do before you’ve even started.
- And finally, don’t think about the end result - just take that first tiny step: try it out and see how it feels. Trust that the rest of the journey will always unfold - you really do not need to know the ending before you start.
I would love to hear from you if any of the above resonates and, as ever, have a wonderful week, friends.
With much love,
Cate x
